Will you blow on my dice?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
