I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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