There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
