I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
