i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
