If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
