Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
