she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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