You work out of a Hotel?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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