God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
