I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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