Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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