I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize