STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
