It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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