Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
