Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize