Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
