i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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