So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
