wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
