You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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