what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize