Will you blow on my dice?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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