Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
