The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
