omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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