I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
