i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
