I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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