Are we in a gay sports bar?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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