it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
