She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
