im having a threesome with these popsicles
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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