Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
