Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
