her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
