I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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