margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
