i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
