I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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