do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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