Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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