we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
