She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
