The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
