AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
