Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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