I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
