She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
