I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
