Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
