He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
