Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
