so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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