ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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