puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
