I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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