erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
