Taylor Swift is so right about you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
