Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
