Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
